Beyond Redemption
by My little Blue Shadow
Summary: AU! Hermione's childhood wasn't so happy. Minor rape,abuse,Self harm. She gets sent to an Orphanage just after her letter arrives. Will History repeat? Slytherin Hermione! Angsty
1. Innocence

Beyond Redemption

Chapter One: innocence

_" To shed tears_

_That have to flow_

_To hold somebody close to you_

_and then to let them go"_

When I was seven, my biological father died. Remembering it did not help this life I was living, but it helped me remember him. I want to know what he looked like, smelled like, and acted like. It helped me forget the _thing _that replaced him. I never want to forget, but my dead father is not the problem.

When I was eight, my mother got engaged to a man named Larry. I hate that name . . . _Larry_. It is boring and common, unlike mine. He always had a suspicious look about him. He had a boyish face that made me nauseous. His perfect blue eyes, slightly muscular body, and horrible temper makes me think he is just another fallen Lucifer. He looks pretty but has an evil appetite that could consume the world.

I had always been a freak about knowledge and neatness. I just embraced that as my perfect escape. I would get my mother to drop me off at the library every day after school. On the weekends, I would stay from 9am until 6pm. He always yelled at me and pushed me around for staying gone so long. He hated it when I did weird things. I turned his hair a sickly yellow and broke his favorite wristwatch. I always said I didn't know how it happened. He always called me a little " Witch of a Bitch. "

I never knew what that meant. I was the witch, but who was the bitch? I figured out it was my mother. I remember when I had to beg the librarian to take me home one night. It was ten before I got home. They must have been busy though because they stayed in their room, making odd noises during the night.

When I was nine, the accidents just got worse. My mom would buy me some candy I didn't like, but I would end up with a Hershey Bar. He would always yell " You little wench. Bring it back. No child of mine steals." I wanted to tell him I wasn't his child, but I didn't have the nerve. I never did do foolish things to dig myself a deeper grave. I tried to control this ability but was unsuccessful. It finally all fell down.

I was ten. I didn't turn eleven until September. I was waiting for my mother to come home, but she never came. That was the day I received my letter from Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. That shiny envelope was more than a savior to me. It was a doorway to another world.

**Dear Miss Granger:**

**Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry is pleased to tell you of your acceptance to our school. There is a ticket in this envelope to platform 9 3/4. The train leaves at exactly eleven o clock on September 1. The list of school supplies are required. Just bring some muggle money to the wizarding bank in Diagon Alley. The instructions to get there are inclosed. If you have any questions please feel free to write back. **

**Sincerely, Professor Mcgonagall**

**Requirements**

**1. protective dragon hide gloves and robe**

**2. quills and parchment**

**3. a cast iron cauldron**

**4. a wand**

**5. Hogwarts, a history; The Complete List of First year potion ingredients and techniques, Transfiguration by Melrose Pillared, Fantastic Beast and Where to Find Them, Charms of the Century**

**6. seven school robes and five casual robes**

**Notice: The pets allowed are toads, owls, and cats**

I had just finished reading it with a racing heart, when _he _came through the door. I quickly sent my reply, but the owl made the mistake of flying straight over his head and scraping his scalp with its sharp talons. His screams were a comfort for the moment. He snatched the letter from my hands and ripped it to pieces. I started screaming at him and crying. He just stood there with that sadistic smile on his face, but he stopped smiling when the paper came back together. I picked it up and ran into my bedroom upstairs. I hid it between the cracks in my dresser's headboard.

I will never forgive him for what he did next. He burst into the room with amazing speed and pushed me over the bed into my glass tea set. I could feel small droplets of crimson running down my upper back. I screamed as he hit me over and over. He finally stopped.

That is when I felt something tearing the rest of my torn blouse. A lot of dirty little images passed through my frayed mind. Then came the rest of the clothing. It was over before it started. I remembered waking up sore and tired. " Get up and pack all that you have."

I did as I was told and was soon knocked out from behind. I woke up in a place called STONEWALL ORPHANAGE. I would soon learn that there is more than one type of innocence, and I would lose every type there was.

_"Cry innocence_

_That is lost forever more_

_Cry thief"_

These songs are from Hillary Duff " Cry."


	2. Only Yourself

Beyond Redemption

Chapter two: Only Yourself

**Disclaimer**

These songs are from HIM (beyond redemption) and My Chemical Romance (Ghost of. You). Some of these words were taken directly out of J.K Rowlings first hp books, but I do not own them and have never claimed to.

* * *

"_Oh I see my scars I know where they're from_

_So sensually carved and bleeding until I'm dead and gone"_

Stonewall orphanage isn't the kind of place it made out to be. The food was terrible, mushy rice and stale beans. The sleeping quarters were cold and bare except for two bunkers per room. My clothes were put in one drawer, tightly folded.

I learned something that first week there. You should never get upset and cry in front of people. You should never forget and laugh when people do funny things. The only person you should count on is you. That is the only person you should ever be comfortable with.

At the moment, I'm sitting pretending to read my new books. I'm really just staring at the new cuts on my arms. I made them like art. All because I can remember Diagon Alley vividly.

**Flashback**

_I'm was down a busy street in London. I'm still not really sure how to got to that place. They gave me perfect directions. I've never noticed it before. I walked in._

_The Leaky Cauldron is a pub. It's dimly lit and dingy. There are wizards, witches, hags, small dwarfs, and other anonymous creatures littering the pub. There are small café tables stranded along the sides and long tables in the middle. The stairs to the far right are leading up to some vacant rooms. It's altogether homely, but the smell of harsh whisky is a bit overwhelming. I walked over to the bartender/owner. _

_" Hi . . . Tom is it? How do I get to DIagon Alley? I'm new at Hogwarts and a muggleborn." He smiled a toothless smile, full of mirth. I hated it._

_" Hagrid can show you. He's that old oaf of a giant by the bar."_

_I looked over to the right. The tall man named Hagrid resembles a small black bear. He's tall enough and Harry enough. His scratchy beard is tangled and knots, but he has the most carefree smile. He turned bright red when he sees me walking over._

_" Sorry child! Just havin a bit o fun. Nothing much. I hardly ever do it." I give him a fake smile._

_" Can you help me find Diagon Alley." He got up and led me to the back of the bar. I ran face first into a red brick wall. I sat on the ground rubbing my forehead._

_" You could have told me it was there." He was smiled an annoyingly happy smile. He tapped his wand at certain places in the wall. I took note of this. The wall opened to the most beautiful place _

_I had ever seen._

_People of all shapes and sizes were running about. Kids were falling down and crying. Teenagers were begging for the latest . . . broom. That rumor must be true. A set of redheaded twin boys were swooning over a pretty blonde. _

_There was an Apothecary and Eeylops Owl Emporium -- Tawny, Screech, Barn, Brown, and Snowy. There were shops selling robes, shops selling telescopes and strange silver instruments Hermione has never seen before, windows stacked with barrels of bat spleens and eels' eyes, tottering piles of spell books, quills, and rolls of parchment, potion bottles, globes of the moon . . . _

_But far beyond that, there was a large and magnificent building calls Gringotts. It was snowy white, with double doors, silver handles, and a brass plate. The plate had the words: _

_Enter, stranger, but take heed_

_of the punishments of greed,_

_for if you take what you never earn,_

_you'll pay dearly when it's your turn._

_So if you seek treasure beneath our floors,_

_for what is never rightfully yours,_

_a treasure that was never yours,_

_Thieves beware_

_Of finding more than treasure there._

_The goblins were just as cryptic as there little messages. They were dreadfully short. The sly face, pointy beard, and long fingers made it look like a fairy tale creature come to haunt the world's children. I cashed some muggle money for loads of gold, silver, and bronze coins. I asked what they were and a gruff voice answered._

_" Gold is Galleons, Silver is Sickles, and bronze are knuts." He went on to describe that seventeen was to a gallon and twenty-nine knuts to a sickle. I kept some muggle money to buy some new clothes._

_I first went to the robes shop. I bought regular school robes and a couple of casual and dress robes. I bought my books and cauldron next. I then went to Eeylops Owl Emporium. I didn't buy an owl because they make too much noise. I bought a pure black cat with silver nails and eyes. The shopkeeper said he could turn different colors and turn invisible. I named him Mila because it was almost the same as my nickname, Mia. _

_I went to the wand shop last. It is nothing but a small and dusty shop. The shopkeeper needs to work on his people skills because he freaked me out. I tried wand after wand. I finally got an eleven inch wand. It was made of oak, unicorn hairs, and two drops of Aurgery Phoenix tears. It had a dark pinkish handle of rosemary. When I walked out of the shop, I noticed a dark alley next to the wand shop. I didn't go near it because I feared of getting caught._

**End Of Flashback**

I don't ever want to feel the happiness again. It was familiar and empty at the same time. It was familiar because my mother had made me happy a few days ago. It was empty because she would never come to bring me home.

I slice my arms with the razor I bought. It bleeds feeling out. I stop and fall onto my pillow. I never go to sleep that night because I'm crying. I promise myself I'll never do this again, but I know I'm never going home.

"_At the end of the world_

_or the last thing I see_

_You are never coming home"_


End file.
